Navigating Gratitude and Postnatal Depression After IVF
For many people, in vitro fertilisation (IVF) can take months or years of treatment, emotional and physical strain, and uncertainty. The arrival of a baby can feel like the end of a difficult journey. Yet for some parents, a complicated experience follows: the coexistence of gratitude and postnatal depression.This emotional overlap can be confusing. When a baby has been wanted so deeply, it may feel “wrong” to struggle emotionally afterwards. But postnatal depression doesn’t discriminate based on how a baby is conceived. Understanding this is the first step toward compassion and recovery.
What is Postnatal Depression?
Also known as postpartum depression, this is a type of depression that can occur after having a baby. It can create a number of symptoms like feeling down, a lack of energy, irritability, anxiousness, difficulty bonding with your baby, and trouble sleeping. Postnatal depression can occur for a number of reasons, such as hormonal shifts, psychological factors, and social influences.
Can Fertility Treatment Increase the Risk of Postnatal Depression?
A study revealed that the prevalence of postnatal depression in mothers who conceived through ART (assisted reproductive technology) is similar to that of mothers who conceived naturally. The study also showed that other factors such as occupation, levels of education, and type of delivery were more strongly linked to postnatal depression as opposed to how the baby was conceived.
The Emotional Complexity After IVF
Although IVF isn’t shown to directly increase the risk of postnatal depression, the wider fertility journey may still affect emotional wellbeing. During an IVF pregnancy, many parents experience a range of emotions that can continue after birth. Of course, these feelings are different for everyone, as everyone’s journey is unique, but alongside joy, some parents experience:
- Anxiety and worry: Some parents find themselves feeling unable to relax. They may check on their baby often or worry that something could go wrong.
- Intrusive thoughts: Some parents experience distressing thoughts about something happening to their baby. While these thoughts can feel frightening, they’re more common than many people realise.
- Guilt about not feeling happy enough: Parents may feel guilty if they’re not experiencing the positive emotions they expected. Some people feel like they should only feel thankful, leading them to hide more difficult emotions.
- Difficulty adjusting to parenthood: Adjusting to life with a newborn can feel overwhelming for any parent, but after a stressful fertility journey, some parents can find this transition particularly challenging.
Signs it May Be More Than “Baby Blues”
Many new parents experience temporary mood changes in the first two weeks after birth, often called “baby blues.” A staggering 4 in 5 people experience the baby blues. Postnatal depression lasts longer and is more intense.
It may be worth seeking support if symptoms:
Persist beyond two weeks
Interfere with daily functioning or bonding
Include hopelessness or persistent low mood
Involve intrusive thoughts or severe anxiety
Feel unmanageable or worsening
Gratitude and Depression can Coexist
A common misconception is that gratitude should cancel out depression. Moving away from the idea that there’s only one right emotional response to having a baby after IVF can be helpful. You can:
● Be grateful and still struggle
● Love your baby and still feel unwell
● Have achieved something amazing and still need support
Mothering Minds
Whether you’re struggling or simply want some extra support as you go through life’s biggest change, we offer specialist 1:1 and couples therapy for the entire journey: from pre-conception through to the early years of parenthood.
Our therapists at Mothering Minds have spent hundreds of hours each supporting people through pre-conception, pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood. Through this experience, alongside rigorous training and continued development, we’ve distilled a therapeutic approach that is evidence-based, compassionate, and effective.
Browse our website or book a consultation to find out more about what we do.
Guest blog post kindly provided by Millie Fuller. She’s a creative copywriter at Content ‘n’ Coffee. (millie.fuller@contentncoffee.com)