Pelvic floor dysfunction is incredibly common, especially among women after childbirth, but it’s still rarely talked about – not by friends, not in the media and often not even by healthcare professionals. And when something so personal is surrounded by silence, it’s easy to internalise it as shame.

Yet so many of us are living with the physical – and emotional – impact of pelvic floor symptoms. From leaking and pain to anxiety, avoidance and feeling disconnected from our bodies, this is a hidden issue that deserves more open, honest conversation.

As someone who works with people navigating pelvic floor recovery every day, I want to help break that silence. Because not only is there hope – there is help.

So, What Is Pelvic Floor Dysfunction?

The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that act like a supportive hammock, holding up the bladder, bowel, and uterus. These muscles also play a crucial role in sexual function, continence, core strength and stability.

When things aren’t working as they should – whether the muscles are over toned (sometimes known as ‘tight’), or under toned (sometimes known as ‘weak’), or not coordinating well – it’s called pelvic floor dysfunction. Symptoms vary from person to person but can include:

• Leaking urine or wind (especially with exercise, sneezing, or laughing)

• A sudden, urgent need to go to the toilet, or difficulty emptying fully

• A heavy, dragging feeling in the pelvis or vagina

• Pain during sex

• Pelvic pain or pressure

• A general sense that something’s “off” down there

The Part We Don’t Talk About Enough

The emotional fallout.

Living with pelvic floor issues can feel isolating and, at times, completely overwhelming. People often say they feel:

• Ashamed, especially if they’ve had a leak in public or find themselves avoiding intimacy.

• Anxious, always thinking ahead to where the next toilet is or whether they can manage certain activities.

• Grief, for a body that doesn’t feel like theirs anymore.

• Embarrassed, to the point they avoid exercise classes, holidays, or even talking to a partner or GP.

It’s worth repeating: if you’re feeling any of this, you are absolutely not alone.

Pelvic floor dysfunction affects around 1 in 3 women at some point in their lives – and many men too – but because of the stigma, it can feel like you’re the only one. You’re not.

Why Are We So Silent?

There are so many reasons we keep this quiet.

Part of it is cultural – we’re taught early on that anything related to our bits is best kept private. And if you’ve had a baby, you may have been told that leaking or pain is “just part of it.” That message, whether said outright or implied, can be incredibly damaging. It leaves people feeling dismissed and stuck.

But symptoms are not something you have to just live with. They’re common, yes – but not “normal” in the sense that nothing can be done. So, what can be done? 

While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, there are lots of ways to begin feeling better – physically and emotionally. These are some of the routes that people I work with find most helpful:

1. Education

Understanding what’s going on in your body can be such a relief. When you learn how the pelvic floor works and why symptoms happen, the fear often softens – and that alone can start to lift the emotional weight.

2. Specialist Support

Seeing a nurse, physio or osteopath who specialises in pelvic floor health can make a huge difference. They’re trained to assess your individual situation and can offer advice, exercises, or treatment tailored to you. Even just one appointment can be incredibly validating and practical.

3. Mind-Body Practices

Gentle movement like yoga, breathing techniques and pelvic floor relaxation can help both physically and emotionally. They offer a way to reconnect with your body in a kind, non-judgemental way – which can feel incredibly empowering when your body has felt like a stranger.

4. Peer Conversations

Hearing someone else say “me too” is powerful. Whether it’s chatting to a friend or joining a support group, speaking about what you’re going through – even a little – can help lift the loneliness.

Small Shifts That Change Everything

You don’t need to overhaul your whole life. In fact, small steps – like beginning to gently engage with your pelvic floor, telling a trusted friend what you’re experiencing, or making that first appointment – can set powerful change in motion.

What matters most is not pushing through or suffering in silence, but listening to what your body/mind is telling you – and knowing that there are options.

You deserve support. You deserve to feel at home in your body again. You deserve not to feel ashamed.

♥Pelvic floor dysfunction is not just a physical issue – it’s an emotional one too. It affects how we see ourselves, how we move through the world, and how we connect with others.

But there is so much that can be done. Recovery isn’t always linear, and it isn’t always fast – but with the right support, people often go from feeling ‘broken’ and afraid to feeling stronger, calmer and more confident than they thought possible.

If this article has resonated with you, consider reaching out to someone who can help. You don’t have to figure this out alone.♥

Emma Bird is a qualified nurse specialising in pelvic floor function, and a pregnancy and postnatal-trained yoga teacher, who runs The Pelvic Floor Clinic + SCULPT STUDIO, near Cambridge, England.

You can find more information on her classes at: 

thepelvicfloorclinic.co.uk

Instagram: http://instagram.com/thepelvicfloorclinic

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