Notes from the Nest : The Silent Struggle: Sleep Deprivation and Maternal Mental Health

Bringing a new baby into the world is often described as magical, life-changing, and full of love, and it truly is. But alongside the joy and wonder, there’s a quieter side of motherhood
that many don’t talk about enough: the deep exhaustion that comes with caring for a newborn. For many mums, especially in those tender early months, sleep can feel like a distant memory. And while broken nights are often seen as “just part of the job,” the impact
they can have on a mother’s emotional well-being is profound—and deserves more
understanding and support.

Understanding Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation goes far beyond simply feeling tired. It’s a whole-body experience that can affect how we think, feel, and function each day. New mums often get by on fragments of sleep, just an hour or two at a time—over and over again. This kind of disrupted rest can be incredibly challenging, and over time, it can start to weigh heavily on a mother’s mental and
emotional health.

The Powerful Connection Between Sleep and Mental Health

Sleep and mental well-being are deeply connected. When we’re not getting enough rest, it becomes harder to manage emotions, make decisions, and feel grounded. For new mums—who are not only caring for a baby around the clock but also adjusting to hormonal changes and a shifting identity—this can feel overwhelming.
In fact, research has shown that sleep deprivation can be a contributing factor to:
 Postpartum Depression (PPD)
 Postpartum Anxiety.
 Mood swings and irritability.
 Feelings of helplessness or being overwhelmed.
 Difficulty bonding with the baby.
Of course, not every sleep-deprived mother will experience these symptoms. But for those who are already navigating other risk factors, like a history of anxiety or depression—lack of sleep can make things feel even heavier.

Why These Conversations Are So Important

In our culture, we often downplay maternal exhaustion, treating it as a badge of honour or a rite of passage. Phrases like “sleep when the baby sleeps” or “this is just part of being a mum” may be well-meaning, but they can unintentionally dismiss the very real struggles so many mothers face. The truth is, it’s often not possible—or practical—to sleep when the baby sleeps. And that’s okay.

Recognising how deeply sleep deprivation affects mental health isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of awareness and self-compassion. And it’s something every mum deserves.

Gentle Ways to Support Sleep and Mental Health

Here are a few ways to support yourself—or a mum you love—during this sleep-deprived season:
1. Prioritise Rest
Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. If a nap is possible, take it. If someone offers help,
accept it. You are allowed to care for your needs too.
2. Lean on Support
Whether it’s a partner, family member, or friend, know that it’s okay to ask for help.
Even just one longer stretch of sleep can make a huge difference.
3. Notice the Signs
If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or emotional numbness persist, please speak to a healthcare provider. The earlier you get support, the more manageable things
become.
4. Let Go of “Perfect”
Social media can paint unrealistic pictures of motherhood. Your home doesn’t need to be spotless, and you don’t need to have it all figured out. You’re doing
beautifully—even on the hard days.
5. Find What Works for Your Family
Whether that’s safe co-sleeping, age-appropriate sleep strategies, or even hiring an
Infant Sleep Consultant if possible, do what helps your family get the rest you all
need.

You Are Not Alone

Sleep deprivation in early motherhood is incredibly common—but that doesn’t mean it
should be brushed aside. Your mental health matters. You matter. You deserve to feel
supported, heard, and cared for, just as much as your baby does.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, please don’t keep it to yourself. Reach out to
someone you trust—a friend, a partner, a doctor, or a therapist. Your voice matters. And you
are worthy of rest, healing, and support.

Resources:
 Postpartum Support International (PSI) – https://www.postpartum.net
 National Sleep Foundation – https://www.sleepfoundation.org
 Mental Health America – https://www.mhanational.org

Charlotte Hillyard is a fully certified Infant Sleep Consultant, a member of both the International Association of Child Sleep Consultants and the International Paediatric Sleep Association, and has additional training in SIDS and Safer Sleep from The Lullaby Trust.

Based in Essex and a mum of two herself, her journey into sleep support began after her own struggles as a new parent. She transformed this  experience into her mission to help other families reclaim rest and confidence through gentle, holistic support. Whether working 1-2-1, supporting the NHS Health Visitors and MIND charity, or running her free Sleepy Mumma’s Support Group, she is committed to making safe, accessible sleep support available to all.

Find more information on her services here:

 thegiftofsleep.uk |

Instagram: Charlotte Hillyard – Baby & Toddler Sleep Coach (@thegiftofsleep_uk) • Instagram photos and videos

Facebook: Sleepy Mumma’s Support Group | Facebook