When you first imagined motherhood, you probably envisioned tender moments of snuggling, nursing, or simply gazing into your baby’s eyes. But what if you start feeling overwhelmed or even resentful from all the constant physical touch your baby demands? It’s a term known as “touched out,” and many new mothers experience it. Understanding the sensation of feeling “touched out” and the strategies to cope can help ensure that both you and your baby get the care and love needed.

What Leads to Feeling “Touched Out”?

Feeling touched out is often a combination of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Being the primary source of comfort and nourishment for a tiny human is demanding. This, coupled with the hormonal changes after childbirth and the demands of everyday life, can make even the slightest touch feel overbearing.

While it’s absolutely normal to want close contact with your newborn, it’s also perfectly natural to crave space and time for yourself. Your body has been through significant changes, and adjusting to the new rhythms of motherhood can take time.

Signs You Might be Feeling Touched Out

1. Reluctance or Dread: The thought of another nursing session or even a cuddle makes you feel weary or anxious.
2. Resentment: You begin to resent your baby or partner for their neediness or lack of understanding.
3. Physical Discomfort: Even gentle touches from your partner or loved ones might make your skin crawl.

How to Cope: Tips and Strategies

1. Communicate with Your Partner: It’s essential to discuss your feelings with your partner. They might not realise how demanding the baby has been, and talking can be the first step to getting more help or simply some understanding.

2. Take Breaks: Whenever possible, allow someone else (partner, family, trusted friend) to take the baby, even if it’s just for a short while. Use this time to do something you enjoy, or simply to rest. It is not bad mothering to put your baby down somewhere safe while you go to the toilet or take a few breaths when things get too much, even if they cry during that time.

3. Consider Babywearing: For some mothers, babywearing can help by giving them their hands back while still meeting their baby’s needs for closeness. If your baby can hold up their head, you can wear them on your back which might ease the feelings as well.

4. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to tell your partner or older kids that you need space. Consider establishing specific times where you can get a break. While small babies won’t understand boundaries, you can gently redirect their hands if you feel that being touched at certain parts of your body are triggering you. For example, if they reach for your breasts or chest while nursing, you can move their hands to your chest or arm, or give them a toy.

5. Practice Self-care: While it might sound cliché, taking time for self-care, whether it’s a warm bath, reading a book, or even a short walk, can help recharge your batteries.

6. Seek Support: Sharing your feelings with other mothers can help. Many mums experience these feelings, and sharing can provide comfort. Consider joining mum groups or seeking therapy if needed.

Understanding Your Limits is Essential

Motherhood is a journey filled with peaks and valleys. If you’re feeling “touched out,” remember that it doesn’t mean you’re not a good mother. It simply means you’re human, and it’s okay to seek help and set boundaries.

Your well-being is crucial not just for your sake but for your baby’s as well. Babies thrive when their primary caregivers are well-rested and emotionally healthy. Remember, it’s not selfish to take care of yourself; it’s essential.

If you’re struggling and need support, consider reaching out for a consultation. I’m here to help guide and support you on your maternal journey.